Example 1: HOW MARK MET SOPHIA
“We both worked at the same department store. I had known for about four months that Sophia liked me because I was friends with one of Sophia's best friends, a girl whom she often confided in, and one day the girl let it slip when I asked her about Sophia. Any way, this girl told me that Sophia liked me, and I knew it for four months but I didn't have the courage to ask Sophia out on a date.
One day there was a party that many of the department store workers went to because it was a farewell party for one of the guys who worked there. There was a lot of alcohol and I came early. I shouldn't have drank so much, but after a few hours I was too drunk to clearly remember what happened.
Sophia tells me that my breath smelled like alcohol, and I looked at her straight in the eyes. Then I put one hand on her shoulder and said, 'You're too young for me, but I like you.’ Then she tried to walk away, but I held on to her shoulder and said again, 'Hey. You're too young for me but I like you. But I really like you.’ She avoided me the rest of the night.
Luckily she forgave me for that, and eventually we became friends and then boyfriend and girlfriend.”
Example 2: SCOTT'S FIRST DATE WITH TIFFANY
“Tiffany was in one of my classes at college. We were in the same study group for a science class, and both of us were immediately attracted to each other. After she gave me a million hints I finally asked her to a movie. I said, ‘hey, do you want to go to a movie?’
Everything went wrong on that day. The night before, Tiffany's roommates threw a big party, and her house was a mess. On the night of the party, many of the guests were too drunk to drive home, so Tiffany took their car keys from them and hid the keys. But she forgot to hide her own keys, so one of the guests 'borrowed' her car without her knowledge. In addition, somebody threw up on her brand new couch, so instead of going to the movies after I arrived, Tiffany and I spent the time cleaning vomit and tracking down her lost car.
We finished early. So we went out to eat at an Italian restaurant. The restaurant was great, but the street was blocked off for an event called ‘farmer's market,’ when local vendors bring carts full of goods and portable electric lights and create an outdoor market for tourists and townspeople to enjoy.
After we finished eating, Tiffany and I decided to explore the farmer's market. There was a small zoo there, with some ponies and sheep, and Tiffany began to pet one of the animals-- a donkey. The donkey mistook her finger for a carrot and tried to bite Tiffany's finger off. Tiffany began screaming. Somehow I remembered a trick I used to do on my dog whenever it wouldn't let go of something. I would hold it's nose and then when the dog gasped for breath it would have to open it's mouth and drop the object. I tried this trick on the donkey and it worked. I saved Tiffany's finger from amputation. Tiffany's finger was in pretty bad shape, but nothing was broken. After that, she asked to go home.
In spite of this terrible first date, we went on many other dates and eventually I married her.”
Study these pickup lines carefully. The first one: drink lots of alcohol, and then say, “You’re too young for me, but I like you. I really like you.” The second one: “Hey. Want to go to a movie?”
As you can see, there is nothing special about either of the two pickup lines. The pickup line is actually irrelevant. No mere sentence is going to make someone go out with you. The important part is that the girl already liked the guy before he asked her out. In the first example, Mark says, “Any way, this girl told me that Sophia liked me, and I knew it for four months.” In the second example, Scott admits, “both of us were immediately attracted to each other. After she gave me a million hints I finally asked her to a movie.” To ensure success, it’s more important to know whether there’s previous mutual attraction than to rely on a pickup line or a gift.
I have a female friend named Akiko. She used to work as a part-time bartender at a jazz bar in Tokyo, and she told the story of a man who had fallen in love with her. He would come in a few times a week, and make small talk while she was on shift. Soon he was coming to the bar every night. To Akiko talking to the customers was a job. But to the nameless man, the talk really meant something. Soon the man began bringing gifts to the bar in an attempt to win Akiko’s favor.
Akiko’s reaction was swift; she became scared and asked a male friend to accompany her home on nights. Certainly the guy who kept bringing gifts must be a psycho, she thought. When the man tried to follow her home one night, Akiko became terrified. She took a vacation from working at the bar at the request of her concerned boss. To make a long story short, the man who had a crush on her eventually committed suicide when he believed Akiko had left the bar without leaving a forwarding address.
What was the secret to his failure? The secret was that he believed the movies. You know the story: a shy nice girl gets swept off her feet by a heroic Prince Charming bearing gifts and trinkets. That doesn’t work in real life. In reality no amount of gifts or magic talk will convince a person who isn’t attracted to you to be attracted. Either a person likes you, or they don’t, and there’s no way to convince them otherwise.
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